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What runs through the mind of a 30 something married man with 5 kids a good job a huge comic book collection, an impressive DVD collection, nearly every movie stub from every movie he's seen since Back to the Future; topped off with a mind filled with endless movie quotes, dabbling in theology, a continuous pursuit of being a professional artist while taking a stab at being a writer? Stay Tuned...

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My Grandfathers gone but not forgotten.

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Contributed by: John Kindelan on 8/21/2007

I've been thinking about family quite a bit lately and there are two men who were in my life who were very influential, and both very important to me. My two grandfathers, one from my father's side and one from my mothers. Two great guys who unfortunately my kids never got a chance to meet.

Grandpa K on my Dad's side was a very quiet man, very mellow, and very religious. The name Kindelan in the town of West Seneca was very popular amongst the church community. My grandparents on my fathers side belonged to 14 Holy Helpers in West Seneca, and as far back as I can remember they were always doing something with the church. Working craft shows, Christmas shows, spaghetti dinners, you name it, the Kindelans' were there. So as a kid I got to go to all of these events and help out, set up tables, work booths, clean up dishes, pretty much anything they could get a little kid to do, I did.

Grandpa K belonged to a group called The Legion of Mary. I would work at the Erie County Fair with him at the booths and hand out pamphlets, my cousin Brian and I would do it so we could then spend the rest of the day at the fair going on rides. Grandma and Grandpa K used to take me and Brian on little day trips, collecting acorns for crafts, or driving up to Canada to get groceries. Both of their parents were born in Canada (which by default I say makes me part Canadian, my wife does not however agree eh.) We had fun, but not wild laughing fun, that wasn't the way the Kindelans' were, they were much quieter, though I can still clearly hear both of their laughs in my head, they were both so unique.

Grandpa K and I would have talks about religion, he liked that I asked questions, and would teach me things. It was always about the moral of the story, he wasn't a fire and brimstone kind of guy, he never forced his religion on anyone, it was just him, that's what he liked.

Grandpa K passed away probably about 10 years ago, everyone called him Jack, but his real name was John. So when he passed the newspaper and the sign at the funeral home said John Kindelan. I actually wrote and read my grandfather K's eulogy and talked about our trips to Canada, that laugh, his life and the way he died. The day he passed away he had gotten up and went to breakfast with one of his prayer groups, came home took his dog for a walk, went to church (he went to church every day) and then had an award dinner to go to at night where he was getting an award from the Bishop, he went in to a local fancy restaurant that I wont name, had his dinner got his award went out to the car to drive home, and passed away. Some people have heard that and said how sad, I say, that was the best possible way. It was a perfect day for him, and then it ended and he got to go to place he loved so much and go and be with his wife.

Grandpa R on my mothers side passed away when I was much younger, I was in 8th grade I think which would make it around 22 years ago?(wow, feel old now). As long ago as it was, and for him passing when I was just around 13 he made a huge impact on my life. He was the greatest; he was the noogie giving, big hug grandpa. He lived right behind a tavern where when I would go visit them I would run through the gate that connected their back yard to the tavern go inside and have a Blue Boy cola with him while he had a beer.

He was a really hard worker, an iron worker at a plant and used to tell me he was responsible for putting up the iron fencing down at the waterfront. But even with his old school Italian tough guy look he was something else, he was an artist. He would have probably never called himself that, but he was. He could draw incredibly well, and he's the one who got me started and taught me to draw. We would watch Kung Fu Theatre together on Saturday mornings and anytime I could stay over there house I could, I just loved being his little side kick. He once drew a bunch of posters for me for my grade school skating party, I remember being so proud and bragging to everyone.

He died from cancer, I don't remember what kind, I think lung cancer but I remember it really took a lot out of him. My birthday is early September and I remember him being to sick to come to a party and because of that I didn't want to have one. So I went to his house to see him, he was sick in bed, we talked for a bit, and he told me to always keep drawing, I have a lot of talent and to grow up to be a good man. Maybe a week later after my birthday he passed away. It was the first death I had to deal with as a child and it was devestating. It wasn't some distant second aunt, it was my Grandfather, my buddy, the guy who yelled at my mom when he wanted me to be able to do something. I'll never forget what my little brother said when they told us that grandpa had died he asked "who shot him" he had to be only 5 at the time and in his world the only way someone dies was like on TV when you get shot.

From Grandpa K I got my religious curiosity, my ability to be mellow in crazy situations and my wanting to help people and have fun volunteering. From Grandpa R I got my artistic skills, my love for playing with my kids, and my wanting to have fun with life, to grow old and be that big fat grandpa that gave hugs and noogies. And maybe the ability to yell at my mom.

I don't have any pictures of either of them. My parents have all of the pictures, I don't have any unfortunately. I used to have one that I carried in my wallet, it was me when I was probably 8 maybe 10 wearing my styling garanimal plaid pants and a brown button up shirt. Grandpa R was playing the guitar and I was sitting there watching him. That picture got destroyed when I accidentally ran my wallet through the wash, that was a crappy day, let me tell ya. So maybe some day my parents will share some pictures with my so I can show my kids. In the mean time I've attached a picture of two guys who used to sell wine coolers on TV, Bartles and Jaymes, we used to say that was Grandpa K(the tall skinny one) and Grandpa R(the shorter fat one) it actually looks a lot like the two of them.

It stinks that the kids never got to meet them, but that's life sometimes I guess, so they know them through me, through stories, though pictures, gone but never forgotten.

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